So right, I described this guy who I dated for a second as such. A 'douche bag'. But this morning, as I was delivered from the world of sleep to awake, I realized that perhaps it could be useful for future endeavors if I try to become more sensitive as a writer. So I'll define the term 'douche bag'.
A 'douche bag', or 'DB' as some like to call it, is typically a guy, if not always. He's usually someone who thinks, like the 'tweetle-dees' (another loose term I cooked up to replace 'douche bag') at my bar last night, that diamonds are important--and that knowing about them is important--only because women like them; only because they have great monetary value; only because they represent a certain level of status. For instance: if you see a woman with a giant, obnoxious rock on her finger, you automatically assume that she has a husband who has a lot of money (regardless of whether or not he got that money legally). Or you assume he's a douche bag, or a sentimental douche bag, because he saved for years of his life to give this diamond to a girl who will end up leaving him in a couple short years. But now we're deviating from the point.
A douche bag is someone who, like my aforementioned date, thinks that he understands people. He thinks he knows the most important things about the world. And fine, in his own, individual reality, I suppose he does. But he doesn't, oops. He's someone who thinks people at bars or restaurants want to hear what he's saying, even though they've never seen him in their lives. In truth, they simply want to have a drama-free evening out with their significant others, or close friends.
Douche bags typically like to make money for the sake of doing it. For instance, I'm sorry to say, but while bartending at Whiskey Blue for years of my life, which is situated in Chicago a mere set of steps from the notorious Board of Trade, I have served countless traders. And from where I was sitting (or standing, as it would go), many (and a painful amount of many, like so many it was more close to MOST) traders are douche bags. My dad would agree. If only because they make more money than they need to make, and it fucks up the economy. Right on, dad. I love you.
Douche bags don't really take a look at themselves. I know this is how a lot of us are. And I understand that it's scary; scary as fucking hell, to really delve into your soul and see what you are. To try to find meaning in life's events, or people's actions, especially if they're you're own. But if we're interested in trying to make the world better, I don't see that we have another choice. Unfortunately, many of the douche bags will never see this. It's sad. But now I'm moving onto another topic.
The thing is, at the time of these dates with Steve we'll call him, I knew he was what I would call a douche bag. I mean for Christ's sake, the dude was wasted and I had hardly had a drink. What was he trying to prove? Or hide? Or was he just an alcoholic? If so, that's another story entirely. Douche bags can tend to be tacky on dates, that's another thing. They also can tend to assume that the women they are with actually want to sleep with them, if only because they are so stuck on themselves, they can't see it any other way.
So that brings me to my next point. Douche bags think a lot about themselves. A shit load. But people don't like people who think about themselves and only themselves. It demonstrates a level of ignorance and lack of compassion. These people cannot be trusted, like many politicians, because they are not really thinking of the interest of the common man. It makes me nauseous and sad. And I said in Satoko's (god bless her) article that it depressed me to see 'Steve' last night; doing so reminded me of the number of douche bags out there.
Still, I hope for the best for Steve and for other douche bags. Maybe one day they will see the light and stop doing things that are void of great meaning when considering the bigger picture. Maybe not. Either way, I'm infinitely grateful to have been born a woman, and not a douche bagette. Douche bagettes exist too, but that's another article. Anyhoos, I just didn't want you to assess that I wasn't a conscientious writer. I mean it's not like I called Steve a douche bag for no reason.
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