What I mean, is the friends you have, the films you watch, the people you observe, the jokes you hear, the scenes you find yourself a part of that make you roar into gut-swelling guffaws. Doubling over from pain, laughing so hard that you--no, sobbing in fact, sobbing so hard that you wonder if you might choke on your saliva. The life episodes that make you wonder if you'll ever inhale another breath of life. The moments during which you then become certain the hysterics will indeed kill you. Knocked dead by laughter. What a concept.
Have you though? Stopped to think about it I mean. I have. I'd say I'm a sucker for comedy. Who isn't? But I grew up honing my own sarcasm, mostly because--as with everyone else, the countless others who are painfully sarcastic--I wanted to hide my buried, deep-from-childhood pain and all that yada yada. I did this by keeping others at bay through this dry, biting humor. Sarcasm is deeply ingrained into my personality; to such a degree that I don't know who I'd be if I didn't employ it each and every day in my mind and through my public discourse.
But despite all of this, I don't laugh easily. I won't laugh at a lot of potty humor, or slapstick bullshit. Cheap humor consists of such thrills from which many people derive great pleasure. But many people are cheap too. Different topic. I love it when people say, 'Oh but you haven't seen Anchor Man? But it's so hilarious. You have to see it!' Uh, no I don't. Will Farrell doesn't do it for me. What happened to him after Saturday Night Live, by the way?
What I like is humor that comes from unparalleled hot people like Ryan Reynolds. Just Friends, for instance, might have been one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while. Is it because Ryan Reynolds wears that fat suit to be his fat younger character? And then years later in the movie he's ulta hot, making you wonder if you could track down his LA address and take that Scarlett Johansson down, down to China Town? She's great and all as an actress, blah blah okay fine she is. But she's too young. And too blond. Bore. I'd work way better as a wife for Ryan Reynolds.
Who cares though, the point is he's hot and he makes me laugh. But maybe I just think he's funny because he's hot. And you know, there might be something to that. What a superficial cad-ette I am. I'm fine with that. It's not my fault. I'm so superficial in fact, that I've made this discussion about hot men instead of humor. They have nothing to do with one another!
But then again, doesn't everyone say what they'd love in a mate is for them to be hot as hell and funny? And of course smart, there's that. But by mathematical logic, if someone is genuinely funny, they're smart too. Don't forget, people: developing the gift of comedy is an art, and it must be studied, nurtured. Not just anyone can spin tall tales ultimately amounting to sheer comedic bliss.
I love when people are mega dramatic about being put down in society. Like as kids, they are unpopular and mocked. They want the hot guy or girl and they can't have them, so they're depressed. Self deprecation, that's pretty damn funny. Brothers slapping each other like boys, especially when they're adults--that's pretty funny. Girls who have gone psychotic on each other or on men, that's always funny to watch. And particularly funny when said psychos are dumb as a shower of sock monkeys.
Educated people like to make fun of dumb people. I sure do. And that's not nice, I know. But what can be done? I mean it's hard, you know, really hard to be patient with people who are slow and incompetent.
If my life were a film, and someone peered in on me and saw my facial expressions when I have to speed up to walk ahead of people who look like they just took a bunch of ecstasy pills--note to reader: they look like this because that's how they look every day, because they don't have a fucking clue--they might laugh. Just understand that I have fits when this happens, observable fits to be sure. I sigh audibly and I stomp right past them, often cutting them off. A lot of people in this town probably hate me because I'm such a dramatically impatient bitch.
Maybe you feel the same way. I mean if we made you into a funny movie, would we laugh? What makes you really laugh though, seriously? Whatever it is, you've gotta find it once and then find it again and again. Go think about it now actually. Yes, now, right now.
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