Say this girl named Leah dates this guy, Joe. She likes him, but he likes her more. He's a bit too 'man's man' for her taste. This means that he plays a hell of a lot of video games, and he loves porn and strip clubs, and he eats awful shitty food, and talks about his past sexual exploits as if they were triumphs or chores that he completed, as opposed to tender memories that ultimately made him a more feeling person.
He hangs out with his man friends and gets wasted into the wee hours of night; he does this very often. And when Leah suggests that she and Joe do something cultural, be it watch the symphony or visit a museum, he kind of sighs and puts it off and makes excuses. In general, when she gets emotional for whatever reasons, even if she cries because she is happy or moved, he asks her why she is crying, and tells her that it makes him uncomfortable.
Leah gets fed up with all of this. And though she realized from the beginning that Joe was just not right for her, because she likes him, and because she likes having him around every now and again, she struggles with cutting it off. But one night, late in December, she does just that. They have an emotionally charged 'chat' in her car, which is replete with lots of tears (on her part, heaven forbid on his; a real man doesn't cry, right?).
Months pass. She begins to miss him. Not that she wants him back, but she has an impulse to see him. She wants to talk to him and laugh with him, and give him a hug. So she calls him. But he doesn't return her call. This hurts her, but she understands. Soon after, she runs into him at the bar where she works. He will not look at her.
She approaches him and asks if they can talk after she gets off work, if only for a few minutes. He says that he's not up for it. This hurts her too, but she understands. Later that night, he sends her a text message to apologize for his reserved behavior; he says that he hopes she understands. The next day, they talk on the phone for a couple of hours. This is depressing for Leah, however. Depressing because 1) she realizes that whatever spark existed between them (though minor), is now completely dead. 2) Joe thinks Leah is crazy. He even states this.
Suddenly, during this call, as she fights back tears, Leah questions her decision to contact Joe, and her erstwhile desire to keep up any type of discourse with him. What's the point? It was over months ago, why bring out the dead? Why go looking for a love that just wasn't meant to be?
Sure, in certain situations, people in relationships can end the relationships, and then remain friends afterwards. But sometimes it's just not possible. And the point is, if you know that, I don't see why you'd fight it. Move on...and don't look back.
By the way, it's officially spring now. Time for new beginnings.
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